"crushes sometimes hardly ever becomes love (which is mutual) because, not surprisingly, we put the person we adore on a pedestal and after really knowing him, we realise that he cannot match up to our expectations... not a nice experience. any wonder why they call it a "crush"? haha... then again... isnt it ironic. sometimes you know that person is not that worth liking, and yet, you still adore him. then you think its so bloody bad that he doesnt know what he is doing to you (and you think about telling him... ) and thus you hate him but then again, since he doesnt know, its not intentional... anyway, you still end up pining for him while he thinks that you are bloody invisible. you know you shouldnt, but you cant help yourself."

-the wise words of Benita

of course i don't mean anything in putting that there, i just felt that it was really true... kinda meaningful? i wonder if i had said something like that to her as well?

anyway, church today.

sat: went out with Samantha Lim, Sotong, my sis. strange that i am going out with friends of my sister's. talked to Sam Loh today as well, she is quite lame, with all her hahas and not funny la. i need to go out and shop real bad. what else. i sleep a lot and do weird things like dance on the ceiling more often. ahem. found out that Clay Aiken's new christmas album will be out soon. whoopie!

and yup, also learnt that a lot of people support Olinda from Singapore Idol but they don't vote for her. please do, if not, she won't win... it's only 50 cents. don't drink ice milo for one day can already. if you think your one vote won't count, imagine if 100 people thought the same way. i think it would be a waste of pure talent if she leaves before the final 2.

i saw my eye candy again. another reason to love Sundays. but he was waiting at the side of the road there. and then he walked off. so i pouted. okay, hahas. then, when i was waiting for the bus and i just happened to glance idly out of the corner of my eye, (while cursing the quality of my newly developed photos thanks to my only 1.8 mega pixel camera grr...), i saw him again... so cute!!! gah, i'm going to gush again. here goes. white button down shirt. black jeans again. and the white shirt is from HUGO BOSS. i can recognize that! obviously since he was a distance away, i had to open my eyes damn wide. and he was wearing this cool pair of sunglassess. mmhhmm... and the best part!!!! he saw my big goldfish eyes... and he walked over!!!! and then he like whipped off his sunglassess in this totally suave way... wah, sounds so dramatic. but it's true. and he gave me this totally sweet smile... and then he winked. my first thought was... *poser* and you could hear the sound of my heart breaking. okay, or maybe cos i'm really afraid he's this rich kid who likes attention. then he said "hi again" and i just smiled. i think i'm a dumbo. to further confirm this fact, the 112 came and i got on. STUPID. and he just stood there and waved. obviously he wasn't waiting for the bus this time. i am such an idiot. *sob sob sob*

okay, enough of berating myself. keyboard auditions for church are soon. 10 people for one slot. small chance for me, especially since i'm not good at piano if you throw it at me and expect me to play it in a few hours or so, i can perfect it in a week but not in a day. horrible sight reading. and the audition i think i will just have an hour to practice with the band. oh no... i really want this.